we just look so good, don't we?
I don't know why but I really like this photo! (:
the pretty ladies I so love...
and the amazing musketeers!!
As I look at you a sense of sadness enters my mind
You look so full of despair
Watching you through my eyes
Wondering what kind of thoughts, hopes, dreams you
might come to share
I am your friend
I hope you understand
Whatever fears or worries you may have
I want to help you in whatever way I can
Why do you hate yourself so?
Hiding inside yourself
Where is the girl I used to know?
If only you had enough courage
To love yourself as you should
I know the feeling of loneliness
I wish to help you if I only could
For the girl that I am looking at
The girl so full of despair
Tho one who seems to hate herself so much
Thinking that nobody seems to care
For the girl that I am looking at
The girl that I tend to see
Is nothing but a true, reflected image
An image I call me......
Isn't this something so many people battle silently with? If you think you're alone in this, you're not.
I was walking to the Mrt station yesterday and I saw 3 guys in navy blue pants, white shirts and striped ties. "Hi, I'm from America, I'm called Elden......"
I flashed him a professional smile and walked away. Jehovah Witness. I thought to myself: oh man, why did they come here!! I thought yishun was ulu enough (kel definitely won't hesitate to agree). And when I turned around, I vaguely spotted them approaching others in the seemingly motionless neighbourhood.
Sigh, away with you and your doctrines.
Music class has been fun! I'm really enjoying myself. I feel so alive sitting in the class listening to everything that Prof was teaching and sharing. Prof Tan is not dramatic or animated when she teaches but she's really passionate about music. And you know it because you can see her eyes shine when she teaches. Music becomes so alive in her class, even when she speaks about history and the technicalities of music. And jac and I find her extremely humorous. It's just so amazing how she can make something simple sound so hilarious - in a normal speaking voice. That's a gift. haha
"We need to have some order in this place. And the order for today is chaos." - someone
Thought that was not bad huh.
I had a dream a few nights ago about someone. I woke up wondering why I dreamt about the person because I haven't interacted with the person for quite a while. I can't exactly remember the details but it wasn't a good dream. Today, I heard something about the person. I was initially shocked, then dismayed. It really saddens me to hear that, especially after all that we have spoken and shared. And I suddenly felt it was such a close reflection of my dream a few days back. How coincidental.
Life is indeed unpredictable. Urgh. Snap out of your idealism chew. This is not a utopian society.
I went for cell group at The Edge this week. The house is absolutely beautiful. My dream house went through some major upgrading after the visit that night. haha. But more than that, it was what I learnt and caught during the cgm. A very simple message: We can only do what God wants and live the life that God wants us to live ONLY with the Holy Spirit.
I'm excited because I saw cgm in another perspective. I was once again reminded that people go for cg to receive fresh manna from heaven and be transformed.
During service today, God spoke to me again about the Holy Spirit. It's the same subject for the 3rd time this week. I realize God speaks a lot to me through pictures, people and repetitions. Ptl, point taken! I think I'm starting to see something more.
For some unknown reason I've been feeling extremely tired this week. I hope next week will be more fulfilling for me.
I need to pray more. I sense a ground which I desperately have to break.
The ground is getting very dry. Parched. Cracks are starting to form and the grains of sand cluttered in a disorganized fashion are beginning to swirl listlessly as the wind blows. They bumped frustratingly at each other, frowning then curtly move off in another direction to their respective destinations.
A need for a fresh flow of oil to lubricate the existing friction. Oil, not water? Yes, oil. Oil is more viscous and most importantly, it is lubricating. The oil will quench the unbearable heat and dispel the frustrations. It will cover and flow into the ground, penetrating into every grain and weaving itself within the fabric of grains till the whole land becomes filled and saturated. And then, the ground will say, "I'm ready to yield and bring forth fruits."
I/O psyc class was really boring. But this picture fell into my mind. And that was enough. :)
This is so strange because 2 weeks ago when I took the Myer-Briggs test during I/O psyc class I was ENFJ! Maybe this is not the real Myer-Briggs test, which we will definitely have to pay if we take the genuinely detailed version. Then again, I think I like who I am, whichever one it is. haha. This is so interesting!
INFP - The "Dreamer"
INFPs are introspective, private, creative and highly idealistic individuals that have a constant desire to be on a meaningful path. They are driven by their values and seek peace. Empathetic and compassionate, they want to help others and humanity as a whole. INFPs are imaginitive, artistic and often have a talent for language and writing. They can also be described as easygoing, selfless, guarded, adaptable, patient and loyal.
http://www.personalitypage.com/INFP.html
ENFJ - The "Mentor"
ENFJs are externally focused, introspective, altruistic, positive and have excellent people skills. They place utmost importance on helping others grow. They are warm and have a natural desire to be supportive and encouraging. Being charismatic and posessing excellent language skills, they do well in leadership roles. ENFJs strive to enhance the lives of their human brethren.
http://www.personalitypage.com/ENFJ.html
This is so cool! Do try it! :)
There's a mad person in my house. I abhor hatred. It poisons the soul and makes the person sick. In every way.
I heard a song that moved me to tears.
I'm really learning a lot of things these days. Or shall I say over the past few weeks? No. Over the past few months.
I don't know why. But it's been pretty much of a emotional and mental rollercoaster ride. I think it's development. Maybe it's this stage. I'm taking developmental psychology now. How apt!
I'm becoming a lot more aware of myself - who I am, what I want to become, what I want to see myself doing, my fears, my loves, the people I really care for, the people I'd like to approach and regard as my confidante, and the list goes on. I'm on this self-exploration journey through my soul, thinking and feeling a whole lot more. Sounds like an excursion ain't it? Exciting? Yes.
Maybe not.
I've been talking to a couple of people these days. I really love sharing and talking openly about things like that. It's so liberating to the soul. I can actually breathe after that! Mq, though I know you won't read this but thanks for being there! You are really rockin'. From the beginning till now. I really love you and thank God for you! :) I also spoke to Prof Tim today after my peerhelpers training. I decided to ask him some questions which had always been close to my heart. It's my first time talking to him for so long and it's really great to hear his perspectives about things that are going on in my life. I'm very blessed! Will be meeting him again on Monday. Can't wait!
I have a love-hate relationship with being 21. I love it more though. I think.
Yes I really do.
God gave me a revelation about the heart this week. Anything that we do without the heart is futile and is deemed as dead. Things stemming from head knowledge will not last cuz the heart's not there. There's no passion (fire) and love to sustain. Feelings are important. Life without feelings is meaningless. And only the heart will be able to produce feelings in us. Hence, without feelings we are likened to robots that function on the information mechanically processed through them. It's impossible for them to relate. And they can't do anything much except rely on what humans instruct them. It's important that there's a 2-way communication all the time between the heart and the mind. Just in case Mr busy steals our heart away and we forgot what we were actually feeling and loving, while our mind continues to spin and before we know we found ourselves enclosed in a forest where we can't see anything beyond the green canopy.
