and I pondered...

I'm really learning a lot of things these days. Or shall I say over the past few weeks? No. Over the past few months.

I don't know why. But it's been pretty much of a emotional and mental rollercoaster ride. I think it's development. Maybe it's this stage. I'm taking developmental psychology now. How apt!

I'm becoming a lot more aware of myself - who I am, what I want to become, what I want to see myself doing, my fears, my loves, the people I really care for, the people I'd like to approach and regard as my confidante, and the list goes on. I'm on this self-exploration journey through my soul, thinking and feeling a whole lot more. Sounds like an excursion ain't it? Exciting? Yes.

Maybe not.

I've been talking to a couple of people these days. I really love sharing and talking openly about things like that. It's so liberating to the soul. I can actually breathe after that! Mq, though I know you won't read this but thanks for being there! You are really rockin'. From the beginning till now. I really love you and thank God for you! :) I also spoke to Prof Tim today after my peerhelpers training. I decided to ask him some questions which had always been close to my heart. It's my first time talking to him for so long and it's really great to hear his perspectives about things that are going on in my life. I'm very blessed! Will be meeting him again on Monday. Can't wait!

I have a love-hate relationship with being 21. I love it more though. I think.

Yes I really do.

God gave me a revelation about the heart this week. Anything that we do without the heart is futile and is deemed as dead. Things stemming from head knowledge will not last cuz the heart's not there. There's no passion (fire) and love to sustain. Feelings are important. Life without feelings is meaningless. And only the heart will be able to produce feelings in us. Hence, without feelings we are likened to robots that function on the information mechanically processed through them. It's impossible for them to relate. And they can't do anything much except rely on what humans instruct them. It's important that there's a 2-way communication all the time between the heart and the mind. Just in case Mr busy steals our heart away and we forgot what we were actually feeling and loving, while our mind continues to spin and before we know we found ourselves enclosed in a forest where we can't see anything beyond the green canopy.