lovin' it

It's just so annoying when you meet people who constantly tries to put others down. This is a perfect epitome of a negative spirit. They simply just have nothing better to say, and their behaviour perfectly reflects the extreme insecurity within them. Sometimes you just feel like shredding their lips into a thousand pieces and throw their teeth into a burning furnace. Woohs~ God bless them :)

Putting that aside...played badminton with my cg today! It was fun...but *muscle aches*!! And God was really good today! I was blessed with free taxi ride! After I heard what you said I believe it was from Him too! Timely! Thanks zj! :)

21-day prayer is starting tomorrow! I'm really excited for it! I believe this period is gonna be a time of breakthroughs, new beginnings, greater encounters and more!!

And suddenly...

a touch from heaven...

God, thank You for this touch. It came at the right place, at the right time. It may not leave me feeling extremely certain of things, but it definitely released me of many things I've been battling with and restored my sense of direction.

Service today was fantastic. I realized that whatever we go through in life will make us more effective as a testimony to people who are also experiencing the same issues. Sometimes we may not see the impact this week, or month, or even years - but our brokenness before God is the attitude which will transform us to be power agents of transformation for Christ.

Trusting and yielding into His will is sometimes awfully challenging...but..

No regrets...

A decision made to wholly follow after You. Amen.

Thoughts of the day

Where certain things are concerned
thoughts about it are rampant
It can be a mouthful to express
A divide between fantasy and reality
Fantasy builds on the hope, expands the imagination
Reality critically lambastes them

可惜 we just have to be brutally truthful to ourselves.

D - etails

Work today was tiring! Or rather it was not so..just that the heat was unbearableee! :( It's just so balmy and scorching! But so far so good. Thank God for this internship. I really feel that I'm learning something - substantial of course, apart from the random blunders. Thank God for forgiveness and grace man. Sigh..but really got to be more D...for detailed.

Details
Determine
Destiny

Sometimes I really wonder why I always seem to face problems with the 'd' characteristics. But for the other 'd' I'm not too bothered whether I have it or not. Somehow I feel that it will naturally arise in people once they become focused and set their hearts on something they want to work on. Then again, I got to be careful not to be too hard on myself. But still...

Spirit of excellence. Work on it chew.

Shopping is liberating

That sums up my night. I'm really satisfied with my "loot". It makes me feel good. I felt a certain part of my soul is satisfied. I realize I really like shopping. But the main cause for joy comes when I finally found a pair of heels that will hurt me no more!!! Yay! Ptl! I was so afraid I couldn't find it and would have to wear something to work tomorrow which may not be allowed . Thank God for answering my prayers. No more blisters! My blisters were so bad that I had to almost limp when I walk to the office this morning :( I was seriously walking slower than an old lady. No kidding. I'm really exhilarated to have crossed paths with my miracle heels in just half an hour! And it's really perfect! :)

Battlefield of the mind

Meeting today was awesome! The presence of God was very strong and could feel the atmosphere was really fired up. Everyone was so charged up and so excited to praise and worship God. It was amazing! It really reminded me the power of praying in two or more. It really makes the difference compared to when you pray alone by yourself. Of course it is definitely essential to do our QT, just that the power of praying in group is simply awesome - the presence and the power of God just fell so easily in the place and it really facilitates you to engage faster and deeper in the spirit.

We prayed about a couple of things. But I feel that above and beyond, what really impacts me most is being renewed in the passion and possessing a breakthrough spirit. Have been feeling pretty melancholic over the past week. Troubled over certain things. A wrestle with my own will, a wrestle with God. Things I can't seem to understand. Things I hope I could look at in another perspective, not through the human eyes but through the eyes of God. Holy spirit help. I prayed. And I prayed. God spoke. In fact, through many channels at various times. But my will was stubborn. Something was happening in the spirit. Though my eyes was not open to see the truth, I could see the battle within my mind. A battlefield of the mind. There was a contest between God's will and my own. That's scary, because I can't seem to let go. I'm reluctant. But God, why must I? I don't want! It's so scary when things are uncertain. I'm just so fearful to step into something unknown. He reminded me of what I prayed. "God please change anything in me that you don't like. Uproot it from my life." Be careful of what you pray for because God is faithful to answer prayers. But hey, this is still an essential prayer man. It has been grueling. My flesh was screaming out for attention. Sometimes I just feel so weak to battle and fight against the flesh together with the stubborn and irritating voices in my head. At times so tired to even pray for strength. God give me tenacity and renew my vision. Faith tank seems to be drying up. Perseverance level is like 0.3/10. How depressing.

But God is good. He has been very very good and faithful. Even when my vision is blurred and I really don't know where I'm going, He continues to speak.

It's all about perspectives. Looking at things through God's eyes, not your own.
Walk by faith, not by sight...the just shall live by faith...
because it's all about stepping into the unknown...moving in the unknown...
seeing and believing the unknown..
Submit to God..
Resist the devil and he will flee from you..
Attitudes...relationships...
the only 2 things that you will bring to heaven..
Living your life in love...
Faith, hope and love..love is the greatest...
2 Tim 2:20-21...to be a vessel that's useful and prepared for every good work

And I learnt that passivity kills all the passion in a person. Being passive will give the devil leeway to play around with your empty mind. Always breakout of that and be bold to try something different. Quit settling with a passive mind and go for an active mind. I realized that the key is to simply stir yourself up and not succumb to any kind of compromises and the tricks the mind plays on you. We just have to keep resisting! By focusing the mind on the positive things, it takes your mind off the natural circumstances and problems. The breakthrough comes when we actually take the step to make the decision to look at things in a different perspective. What a powerful and crucial step!

Something is breaking in the spirit. Faith is once again arising. Not as stubborn to dwell in my old wineskin as before. Partially because I can't bear to wallow in my own circumstances and passivity any longer. I've been whining too long before God. Further stubbornness is only going to cost me my breakthrough. Embracing a new attitude and living life the right attitudes; loving more than I ever used to - the very things I will fix my eyes on.

Amazing grace

My parents found out. Haha. Oh wells, it's a sooner or later matter. I didn't know how to tell them. Thank God they didn't scold me, just told me to be careful next time. My mum even laughed as she described how scared she was in the car at times when I was parking the car. It was my first accident since I started driving. Thank God it wasn't so grave. Thank God it happened in the car park, not out at the roads. That would really be scary. And most importantly, thank God that I didn't have to pay. But then again, it was also pretty irresponsible of me. Then again, I really felt it was God's saving grace. At least that's what I choose to believe given that it's my first time. XX said the dent was a palm-size depression. And he saw the SUV shook. I freaked out. What should I do man! I was waiting for the driver to come knocking on my window to demand an explanation. But amazingly, the whole family who were around the car was oblivious. XX said at that split second when it happened, their backs were turned away from their car. I can't believe this! What a divine second! Any fraction of a second earlier or later would have completely changed the way things turned out. Checked my car, and it was thankfully only a light scratch. However, I guess I should not have taken advantage of their ignorance and drove away. I was feeling too panicky at that moment though. But I will learn to do what's right next time (hopefully there won't be!). And most importantly, estimate better.

Looking into the mirror

There's one spirit that I know. And that's the spirit of nuah-ness (I don't know how else to put it). This spirit clings on to me especially in times of uncertainty and challenges. Or rather, I could have unconsciously attached myself to it. It locks me up in a shell called the comfort zone where my mind becomes imprisoned to focus on the circumstances and my will becomes resigned to an overwhelming mash potato called emotionalism. This feeling may sometimes be confused as spiritual warfare, but it is simply one getting lost in the maze of their own emotions and can't think straight, up and right. The solution to it is to stir up your spirit once again and to tell yourself, "get a life and snap out of it." It's a decision that only we ourselves can make. And if we don't take any steps forward, nothing will ever change. This is such a basic yet crucial revelation! So it's about time that I fight and overcome the flesh (I hate you!) and rise up in the spirit and take ownership of my own life, because the violent shall take it by force!

And to my sis who blasted me on this..haha! Thanks so much!! Sometimes, I really need some spiritual whacks to break the stubbornness in my will.

I have another weakness. And that is the laziness and inertia to change and re-adapt. Got to change chew. Glory to glory! Amen.

Inspired :)

After reading your blog, I realize you are really strong. And I truly admire you for that. The thoughts that you penned - every word, every expression display depths which made me desire to experience and understand them myself. Your never-give-up spirit and the attitude to consistently do all things in love and be forward-looking is simply amazing. I'm inspired, and definitely impacted. You probably have experienced tons of darts and arrows to reach where you are right now. I'm inspired because you have ran and persevered in the race toward your upward call in faith, and will continue to run victoriously in boldness. Despite your perceived weaknesses, your trust in God have continued to motivate you in living out God's purpose for your life. And along the way, you have impacted so many lives around you. Though I seldom have the opportunity to talk to you now, see you in person, or even read your blog, you have created indelible footprints in my life. And I can really see you transforming countless lives in future. The impact you have will blow so many away, so much so that even you yourself will be in awe. I'm deeply provoked in my thoughts and spirit. Thank you so much! Thank you for being such a wonderful testimony for Jesus because you have impacted my life!:) And with that, thank You Jesus.