Meeting today was awesome! The presence of God was very strong and could feel the atmosphere was really fired up. Everyone was so charged up and so excited to praise and worship God. It was amazing! It really reminded me the power of praying in two or more. It really makes the difference compared to when you pray alone by yourself. Of course it is definitely essential to do our QT, just that the power of praying in group is simply awesome - the presence and the power of God just fell so easily in the place and it really facilitates you to engage faster and deeper in the spirit.
We prayed about a couple of things. But I feel that above and beyond, what really impacts me most is being renewed in the passion and possessing a breakthrough spirit. Have been feeling pretty melancholic over the past week. Troubled over certain things. A wrestle with my own will, a wrestle with God. Things I can't seem to understand. Things I hope I could look at in another perspective, not through the human eyes but through the eyes of God. Holy spirit help. I prayed. And I prayed. God spoke. In fact, through many channels at various times. But my will was stubborn. Something was happening in the spirit. Though my eyes was not open to see the truth, I could see the battle within my mind. A battlefield of the mind. There was a contest between God's will and my own. That's scary, because I can't seem to let go. I'm reluctant. But God, why must I? I don't want! It's so scary when things are uncertain. I'm just so fearful to step into something unknown. He reminded me of what I prayed. "God please change anything in me that you don't like. Uproot it from my life." Be careful of what you pray for because God is faithful to answer prayers. But hey, this is still an essential prayer man. It has been grueling. My flesh was screaming out for attention. Sometimes I just feel so weak to battle and fight against the flesh together with the stubborn and irritating voices in my head. At times so tired to even pray for strength. God give me tenacity and renew my vision. Faith tank seems to be drying up. Perseverance level is like 0.3/10. How depressing.
But God is good. He has been very very good and faithful. Even when my vision is blurred and I really don't know where I'm going, He continues to speak.
Walk by faith, not by sight...the just shall live by faith...
because it's all about stepping into the unknown...moving in the unknown...
seeing and believing the unknown..
Submit to God..
Resist the devil and he will flee from you..
Attitudes...relationships...
the only 2 things that you will bring to heaven..
Living your life in love...
Faith, hope and love..love is the greatest...
2 Tim 2:20-21...to be a vessel that's useful and prepared for every good work
And I learnt that passivity kills all the passion in a person. Being passive will give the devil leeway to play around with your empty mind. Always breakout of that and be bold to try something different. Quit settling with a passive mind and go for an active mind. I realized that the key is to simply stir yourself up and not succumb to any kind of compromises and the tricks the mind plays on you. We just have to keep resisting! By focusing the mind on the positive things, it takes your mind off the natural circumstances and problems. The breakthrough comes when we actually take the step to make the decision to look at things in a different perspective. What a powerful and crucial step!
Something is breaking in the spirit. Faith is once again arising. Not as stubborn to dwell in my old wineskin as before. Partially because I can't bear to wallow in my own circumstances and passivity any longer. I've been whining too long before God. Further stubbornness is only going to cost me my breakthrough. Embracing a new attitude and living life the right attitudes; loving more than I ever used to - the very things I will fix my eyes on.
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